Running Train Wreck : Addiction or Therapy for a Mom Gone Crazy: Lincoln Marathon 5/1/2011

This is the longest I've gone without writing anything about a race. I usually have so much to say and so much I want to remember that I can sit and just let the words pour out, my fingers type as my memories of the race float through my head. Not this time. I'm not sure why. I've become so much more introspective and a lot less able to share what I'm feeling into words. Sometimes things come out right when I speak, but more often than not, I am speechless.

Technically I BQ'd for 2012, but the way things have changed with the registration process, favoring the fastest runners (rightfully so), I doubt I will get the chance to run it. The standards for 2013 and beyond will drop the times another 5 minutes per age group so I'll have to run another marathon to re-qualify and again, the registration process will weed me out. Do I care?

Not at all.

It's funny how things change.

I helped people along the way (Anne, Linda, John, Body lube guy, Hawaii National Guard). I hugged people along the way (Jesus, Cooper, Lauren, Rosina). I was a cheerleader to people on the course (Jordan, Brian, Justin, Tim, Kaci, Todd and then Greg, Kathy, Beth, Texas Half Guy). And I talked to people, like actually had full conversations (Ivan, Will, Van, Matt & Julie). It was probably the most relaxed race I've ever run.

I guess I wasn't technically 'racing'. I'm not even sure what that means. I don't consider myself fast - never in contention to win anything.

I run best when there is no pressure. Anything that I call a 'training run' always happen to be my PRs and I have no idea why or how it happens. I did it during the Half in Omaha last September and I did it on this day in Lincoln. Who would have thought I could PR in a marathon a day after running 20-miles?

Not I.

Maybe I run best when I'm just running to run. I've always been a defiant individual, so maybe this is just me rebelling against myself, against the pressures that tell me to be something I'm not.

My fueling plan was pretty basic. I took a Clif Shot at the start, and then one at mile marker 5, 13, and 22, each time running with the packet for 2 water stations before consuming the entire contents. I drank from those nifty cups with the straws at every single water station.

My race plan was even more basic: Just Run.

I wanted to feel good enough that if for any reason, someone added another five miles to the end of the marathon, I'd be strong enough to run see those five, and raise the stakes. I just wanted to feel like I could continue running. After all, I am training to be an ultramarathoner, not a faster marathoner.

I just kept running.