Little Goblin's Run (or not) - October 29, 2011

Taia was totally prepared for this year's Halloween Race.

Last year she was just 14 months (an avid walker and runner, yet still a novice). This year was going to be different: She was two and she was ready to run.

She practiced 'racing' Grandpa Denny on many occasions. We made several reconnaissance trips to Vala's Pumpkin Patch - it was almost as if we had home court advantage. I'd dressed her in the Minnie Mouse costume and even pinned an old bib number on her before releasing her in the yard. In fact, if she was going anywhere on her own two feet, she was running. 

I'm sure I yelled "Walk!" as I frequently as I yelled, "No!" to her this month. 

People chuckled when I went on the local television station's Morning Blend to talk about the Monster Dash http://www.omahamorningblend.com/videos/131597438.html. I was hopeful that my two-year old would run since "last year, she just stood there". The hosts of the show didn't find it surprising. They clearly underestimate the fact that some one-year olds are capable of running (particularly darting in the opposite direction). A few friends watching the broadcast caught my comment regarding the idea that kids can get to the finish line in any "way shape or form" and I offered a few suggestions including "pick 'em up, drag 'em there, run 'em there..."

I won't say too much about the race. It was memorable, and slightly traumatic too.

If you ask her if she ran...she'll admit, "No... I cried. I had meltdown."

The Hardest Thing Besides Starting...is Stopping

I have not had a deliberate training run for 8 days. Before this hiatus, the longest I've gone without running in the year 2011 has not been more than 72 hours.

It took me 8 days to go through the withdrawal symptoms of my running addiction. I've experienced  the emotional symptoms similar those that go through heroine or alcohol withdrawal: social isolation, anxiety, lack of concentration, irritability, restlessness, and bouts of depression. I just haven't been myself. I'm not myself. I'm broken.

Most normal (non-runners) probably can't relate. It was stupid what I did...running through all the aches and pains. It's my own damn fault (just like Dale Nielson made me repeat); and I am paying for it. I admit that I probably should have stopped after Leadville, and rehabbed like I said I would (a hundred times).

But I just couldn't stop. Running was everything to me and if I didn't run, I felt like nothing. I had FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) in a big, bad way. That in itself, is a major addiction.

There are 30-40 people that I won't see because I'm not running. Some may say they're not really my friends, but I beg to differ. True, some are not the kind of friends that I hang out with off the track, path, or race circuit, but they are my kind of people. I enjoy spending time with them - catching up, laughing, storytelling, sharing information, meeting new people, all the while running around outside somewhere. There's nothing weird about it.

The truth is that I'd surely meet up and have a beer with most of these people (after the run, of course), but the fact is, we're all busy people. We have lives that include spouses, children, family functions, birthday parties, jobs, vacation, appointments, you name it. The common ground lies in our desire to include running as one of our priorities, a period of time that we schedule just for ourselves. When I combine my running workouts with friends, it is the perfect date.

When I commit to meeting someone at an ungodly hour for an unimaginable number of miles, it's not guilt or accountability that gets my ass there; it's the excitement of hanging out with a friend. Of course after a few hours, misery does love company, and it's comforting being able to suffer together. It's nice to have a pacer, witness, guardian, and someone to share the tough times. It builds friendships.

Even though I'm rarely seen without my running shoes and pony tail, there's nothing I wouldn't do for any of my running buddies, if they asked me - anytime, anywhere.

Except for the time being, I'm not taking any running appointments.

Rock'N'Roll Denver Half Marathon - 10/9/2011

This race was a very emotional run for me. I actually cried a few times when my body let me use fluid to make tears instead of sweat.

First of all, I won free entry into this race. I actually won something in my life, and it was a $145 entry into a marathon, of all things. I entered the drawing through my Brooks Fanatics FB Group on August 3 with this post: 


"Suffering post-event depression since my 1st ultra in July, missing the mountains & trails in CO. I've had trouble deciding what to do next, but this could be it! I'd love to head back to Denver to rock my Fanatics singlet & reunite with the road."


I didn't get notification that I had won until Sept 12, only a month from race day.


It was the week before Bohemian Alps and I figured I would do the 50K and decide during, or after that.  I knew I wasn't prepared to run a full marathon, and communicated with my Brooks contact that I could indeed just do the half.


The day after the 50K was the Corporate Cup and on the drive downtown, Rodney and I (we were going to spectate) agreed that we would pass up the opportunity, and save money on the travel and accommodations. This decision stood for about 20 minutes, because after I met up with Denny and walked down 19th Street together, we were in! 


Denny and Lil's son, Jeff (who runs for Marathon/Snickers) heard that I had won free entry and decided to do it too; in fact he was so excited, he signed up and reserved hotel rooms.  Not only was I going to run the Half Marathon in Denver, but the entire family was coming, plus Denny and Lil, who are Taia's Omaha Grandparents and close friends/like family.


We began the roadtrip after Rodney finished work on Friday. We stayed the night, halfway in North Platte and continued the four hours to Denver Saturday morning after breakfast. The weather was horrible: rain, wind, and freezing temperatures. Bad enough to make this all-terrain, all-weather runner want to hibernate. We made it to the Expo, met up with Jeff, who had flown in from Des Moines a few hours earlier, and explored the Colorado Convention Center. The highlights were meeting Kara Goucher, Jeff winning a pair of Brooks shoes, and seeing Greg for a brief moment.


The eve before race day my main goal was carbo-loading, which I have to say is my favorite part of racing. We went to the Old Spaghetti Factory and filled my glycogen storage to the brim. I had enough white bread and pasta to fuel me for a marathon or more, and I rolled myself and Taia over to the Marriott bar to watch the Huskers make a gigantic comeback for the win over Ohio State. 


After the game we walked to our hotel just down street, where Rodney and Taia went to bed. I did my usual nighttime non-sleeping routine, which consists of picking out my race outfit, pinning my bib to the shirt, fastening the timing chip/D-tage to the shoe, programming alarms on my phone, packing my gear check bag, cutting my disgusting toe nails, setting out everything for the morning regiment (coffee, shower, deodorant, meds, Bodyglide, etc.). I seldom sleep more than five hours on any given night so I read the race magazine until a little after midnight and then, it was lights out.


It's race day and I'm running! The weather is beautiful, the sun is shining and my legs are feeling great. I feel no pain and I'm passing people... going up hill. I know I'm in Colorado and I'm smiling. I'm feeling terrific, terrific, terrific...Crap! I am still asleep! 


I wake up and it's 5:00AM - Showtime! It's hard not to be slightly pissed off. I feel like I've already been running. Now I have to do all the pre-race stuff again. I do everything I need to do in the bathroom and let Rodney and Taia continue to sleep in the darkness. I tuck a course map and pace chart for a 1:45-2:00 half marathon under Rodney's wallet and head out the door to meet Lauren and walk down to the Start. Let's rock!


On the way down to the Civic Center Park by the Capitol Building, Lauren announces to me that she's going to run with me. I'm surprised because she's a) running the full marathon and b) more than a minute per mile faster than me. She's a speed demon, with more talent and determination than most of the people at this race. She demotes herself to Corral 2 and next thing I know, Jeff is standing on the other side of me, also self-demoted from the fastest corral.


Oh No, it's like the Lincoln Mud Run...I'm tied to two verrrry fast people.


My panic is suspended when I see Denny and Lil waving to us from beyond the barriers of this very crowded and ever swelling start corral. I am pumped because I'm surrounded in what feels like family to me. Denny has never been to an event like this, and Lil loathes all things associated with being a race spectator, despite the fact that Denny and Jeff are super talented and race often. We are ready to roll!

_____

The race starts, and oddly enough, it's exactly like my dream...except I have two very fast and attractive escorts on each side of me. Jeff sticks with us for the first three miles, a good warm up, and moves forth. I finish the 5K too fast, and my butt hates me. We see Lil and Denny around Mile 4, before the only hill that I can remember, and the only time I think the altitude is stealing my attitude. Just breathe.

Just before Mile 5, I'm hallucinating. No, I'm not. It's Greg in the world's puffiest coat, facial hair, and his famous red Nebraska cap, now frayed and faded. We pull over and hug. He hugs Lauren and I attack the two of them, sharing a big Colorado reunion hug, right there on the street. It's like a party, and we beg him to come along. He ran a brutal 20-miler in extreme weather yesterday and declines the offer. We hate leaving him, but we are elated that he's here for us. Silver Rush 50 and the experience we shared in Leadville lives on, and we are forever bound as friends. I hold back tears.


Rodney and Taia are at City Park where 5 miles of the course snakes and winds. They are able to see us at Miles 5, 8, 9 and 10 by moving no more than a few feet.  He's beside her with his camera and Taia is wearing a hat, mittens, sucking a pacifier, and blanketed like a burrito in a stroller. This is the first time Taia has been in the crowd watching me run since she was three months old. I know she won't remember this, but I sure will.


During this run, I am barely talking. Lauren is sacrificing her time to take me to where I need to to go, and for once, it's not time to chat. I'm working my ass off to keep the pace, I'm trying to keep just below 8:00/mile. I see a sign that helps me out: "You've done worse things for longer". How true. By Mile 8, I am beginning to unravel and lose my form. Lauren talks to me about my core and builds me up with her words. She's got my Nutrilite cubes in her pockets and slows down each time she sees me grab for water. Lauren is my athletic trainer, pacer, sports psychiatrist, nurse, and source of nutrition.


At Mile 10, I tell Lauren that I'm going to stop and give Taia a little squeeze, who is now nestled in Rodney's arms. It's a nice 10 second break and I'm energized to get the job done. At the cutoff after Mile 11, where Marathoners go left and Half Marathoners stay right, Lauren chose to stay right - right by my side. I could cry. We wind through Cheesman Park and take the final stretch as fast as my body will take me. Lil screams for us at Mile 13 and says that the finish is just around the corner. We turn. It's all downhill to the Finish. The last 0.2 we hit at a 6:20 pace. Lauren says, "You're racing me!" I think I tell her I love her. Regardless of whether I said it, I was thinking it. We finish together and share a sweaty (me) embrace, before she turns around and trots away to find her mom and sister on the course. She's like a running version of Robin Hood. 

I reunite with Jeff, Denny, Lil, Rodney and Taia and enjoy the rest of the day. 


Denny receives a text from John, who reveals my official time (since my Garmin auto-paused during the three occasions we stopped). I had no clue, and really didn't care either. I finished in 1:43:38! A ten second PR! Incredible. 


I absolutely love Colorado, but it was the people in my life, here, there, and everywhere who support me, that make these (painful) experiences fabulous ones. 

Course Map: