The Dark Side of Running - Being a Train Wreck

It's been two months since Silver Rush.


Sadly, the rush is over.


I continued to run and I love running more than ever. Somehow, it's just different now.


After Leadville, after the emotional highs and lows, physical gains and losses, financial profits and expenditures (there weren't many profits), and after all the mountain dreams and thin air escaped my blood, I went through some sort of post-event depression. It was strange, but I suppose it is normal.


I feared I would turn into an adrenaline junkie and need a fix - something greater and bigger and better than Leadville. It was a internal struggle for a few weeks.


There were a couple interventions by some very brave people. I know I'm not the easiest person to confront and reason with. I know I get defensive and go all drama, when I feel that nobody on my side. After a while, I realize that I have great friends and I do have a supportive husband, who sometimes is lost for words or the way to share his feelings. There are people who care about Jody, the person and not just Jody, the runner. Running is certainly a piece of the puzzle, a portion of my crazy, something I do that brings a great deal into my life, but it isn't my full and complete identity. I was imbalanced in the worst way.


On top of my emotional confusion, the long-term hip/glute injuries still linger and was brought to the forefront after Leadville. The ultra didn't make it any worse, but obviously, it didn't make it any better. Around my 36th birthday, the pain started feeling a lot like sciatica, a pain running from my low back through my butt, and shooting down to the back of my knee. It started to hurt constantly, and it's the worse when driving, sitting on a sofa, and lying down in bed.


I joke that I am the movie, Speed. I am fine provided I am moving at all times, but if I slow down to a semi-relaxed state, my body will "blow up". I don't feel any worse running than when I am not running, so I've continued to run.


I'm searching for my limits, and learning to run within them. It's a whole new challenge.